


between bitter and sweet

by loveletterd



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Actors, Alternate Universe - Actors, Denial of Feelings, Drunken Kissing, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Getting Together, Hate to Love, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan-centric, Living Together, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT)-centric, Rivals to Lovers, Soft Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Soft Mark Lee (NCT), Unresolved Romantic Tension, basically mark is oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 06:42:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23007355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveletterd/pseuds/loveletterd
Summary: “How the hell am I supposed to pretend to like you?” Mark asks, and watches as Donghyuck’s smile turns threatening within a second.“You’re an actor,” He hovers his finger over the record button. “Figure it out.”
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 7
Kudos: 829





	between bitter and sweet

**Author's Note:**

> this took way too long and i formatted it twice but it literally won't work so if it feels like there should be italics somewhere, please pretend there are :(
> 
> thank you to @mayuri for commissioning this piece! it was so much fun to explore this concept and i loved writing it :D

Mark Lee is 20 years old and he’s never killed a person. 

He’s never even considered it, not once, no matter how shitty the world and its inhabitants have treated him. In his short 20 years, Mark has never felt enough anger to warrant thoughts of homicide. That is until he’s poured himself a bowl of cereal and only a pathetic dribble of milk makes its way out of the carton, barely wetting his breakfast. 

As Mark finds himself staring at his dampened cereal, an empty carton of milk in his hand, he feels his anger bubble and boil until it’s rising to the surface and the only thought on his mind is murder.

Now here’s the thing; Mark is not a violent person. He’s not aggressive or mean, and he rarely gets angry with anyone. Mark’s image, however, is exactly that (he hates it, trust him) and his manager seems to enjoy playing up how the public sees him by encouraging him to take roles in films that reflect that image. Mark doesn’t usually mind, because work is work, and technically he’s just acting.

More recently, when his manager had presented him with the news of a new role in a romantic comedy, he was beyond excited. Mark is someone who loves romance in secret, keeping his soft spot for affection private from the world, but he found himself more enthusiastic for this job than anything he had ever done in his career so far.

Not only was Mark getting a starring role, but he would also no doubt gain attention for his uncharacteristic role. Mark had a habit of being cast as cold, tough characters who brought everyone else down to earth by being cynical and real and oftentimes mean. 

He was about to get his chance to be everything but that. 

When Johnny had informed him that he wasn’t given the hard to get counter-lead, he was understandably confused. His manager had proceeded to explain that the director wanted to twist what the public would expect from his lead actors, and put them in roles that they would otherwise play the opposite of. 

Mark understood as soon as he learned who his co-star would be.

Lee Donghyuck. The media’s golden boy and heartthrob who seemed to be the king of winning hearts and leaving everyone in his wake smitten. A boy who is even the visual embodiment of softness, with curly brown hair and matching golden skin, freckles littering full cheeks that grow fuller when he smiles.

A boy who Mark can barely stand, and who apparently doesn’t know how to change the fucking milk.

“Donghyuck!” He shouts, slamming the carton down onto the counter with as much force as he can muster, which only serves to dent it and leave it to tip over when he storms toward the bottom of the staircase. “ _Lee Donghyuck _!”__

__He can hear thumping from the upper level of the house before a half-dressed boy appears at the top of the staircase, struggling to pull his shirt over his head of messy brown hair._ _

__“Jesus, _what _?” Donghyuck shouts back down at him, shoving his arms through the sleeves of his shirt before narrowed eyes become visible.___ _

____Mark knows he looks less than intimidating standing there in nothing but patterned boxers and a too-big sweater that swallows his body. Still, he holds his ground as he glares up at the positively irritating boy and voices his anger._ _ _ _

____“How many times have I told you to replace the milk when you finish it?”_ _ _ _

____“It wasn’t empty.”_ _ _ _

____“There was one fucking sip!” Mark exclaims, and when the boy does nothing but shrug down at him he swears he could kill him._ _ _ _

____He can see the headlines now:_ _ _ _

_____"Actor Mark Lee charged with first-degree murder in the death of his roommate and fellow actor Lee Donghyuck _."__ _ _ _ _

_______"Mark Lee sentenced to life in prison after killing his costar over milk _."__ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________"Lee Donghyuck found dead under suspicious circumstances—the only hint being an empty carton of milk left at the scene _."__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Mark thinks he could handle that reputation at this point, as it’s everything he’s been painted to be already._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You’re picking up more, then,” He grumbles as he storms back into the kitchen, bare feet cold on the tiled floor. He stares down at his bowl before sticking his spoon into it and shovelling a large bite of still crunchy cereal into his mouth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He hoists himself up onto the stool near the counter, cradling the bowl in one hand as Donghyuck ventures into the kitchen, ruffling his hair around as he stifles a yawn. He takes one look at the crumpled carton on the counter before he snorts out a laugh and pulls open the fridge._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Shut up.” Mark snarls around another mouthful of cereal, slamming his bowl down onto the counter as Donghyuck pulls an apple out of the fridge and polishes it on his shirt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Might wanna get dressed soon.” He mumbles before taking a bite, making Mark roll his eyes and poke at his half soggy cereal dejectedly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Why does that concern you? You’re the one going to the store.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Donghyuck rolls his eyes and swallows. “You _are _fucking disorganized. We have a meeting at 10.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“And you thought you’d wait until 9:30 to tell me?” Mark shoots up from his seat and pushes past the boy as he rushes to the stairs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I thought you’d at least have checked your phone to see the text your manager sent!” Donghyuck calls after him as he bustles upstairs in a hurry, hoping he can make himself presentable in 10 minutes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Mark hates meetings, especially early in the morning, and Johnny knows this. He thinks that his manager purposely makes them early just to see him miserable, as most of the time the result of the meetings isn’t all that pleasant either. It’s like a double kill, and Mark can’t stand it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________As he rushes to dress in something presentable, he thinks of the last time the pair of them were called to a meeting together. Mark had just gotten the news of the role, and he was beyond excited to learn more about the project._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________However, upon entering Johnny’s office he found none other than Lee Donghyuck sitting in an uncomfortable leather chair, both of their faces collapsing upon seeing each other. Finding out about their partnership was nowhere near the worst part of that meeting._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________It was decided that since the pair had never worked together, and this was a film that required believable chemistry that they certainly didn’t have, that they needed to learn each other better._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And so the living arrangements came into effect._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Under no other circumstances would Mark ever live with Donghyuck, but he would do anything for his job—and frankly, a lovely, temporary house. It was explained to them that they would bond better if they lived together while filming, because eventually, the closeness they were to express in the film would appear in real life, and therefore feel more genuine to the audience._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Mark feels no closeness, nor fondness, and he dreads what news he’ll receive today._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Let's go! The car is waiting!” Donghyuck calls from downstairs, and Mark pauses outside the bathroom as he debates whether or not to risk being late in order to brush his teeth. “Mark!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m coming, relax!” He rolls his eyes and skips the bathroom, jogging down the stairs and nearly stumbling at the bottom._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He hears Donghyuck laugh at him before he’s breezing past the boy and heading for the front door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________As most times he’s alone with Donghyuck, there isn’t much said. In fact, Mark doesn’t say anything until he’s sitting in Johnny’s office, trying his best to process the latest addition to their assignment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“ _The two of you are going to be making little videos—to tease fans about the upcoming movie. We want them to be as suggestive and sweet as you can make them, so everything is more believable _.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mark doesn’t believe what he’s hearing. “I have to pretend I’m in love with him?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Johnny nods. “You’re doing it in the movie, what makes this any different?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mark sputters out an answer. “That’s for work! It’s my job to pretend in a movie!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The smile on Johnny’s face turns fake but never falls, his eyes hardening as he looks between Mark and Donghyuck. “I suggest if you want to keep this job, you follow direction.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mark immediately shuts his mouth and stands from his seat, giving Johnny a pointed look that lets him know he will certainly be complaining about this situation to him later when the pair doesn’t have to put up such a professional front. He swallows hard before looking down at Donghyuck and nodding the door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Wanna get out of here? We’ve got a lot of practising to do.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Donghyuck lets out a huff before standing as well and thanking Johnny for his time, bidding goodbye in a much more polite way than Mark would want to in this situation. As they’re pushing out of the glass doors to the office, he speaks for the first time since they entered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“This isn’t as hard as you think.” He states, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “Just do what you do when we film.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“That’s easy, Donghyuck. I’m playing a character then. For this, I have to be me, you have to be you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“What’s wrong with me?” Donghyuck stops in his tracks and pouts, and Mark feels a strange feeling bubbling up inside him. He wants to answer Donghyuck’s question but he can’t quite determine what it is that makes Mark feel that way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He also isn’t quite sure what that is._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You’re insufferable.” He mutters, stepping into the elevator and for once in his life, wishing he wasn’t going home._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Home means pretending, and dealing with Donghyuck and his irritating pout and always messy hair and wide eyes. Mark spends the elevator ride, the walk to the car, and the drive home trying to decipher the way the boy makes him feel. Mark has never really felt that way before. Never felt such a twisting in his stomach or a rush of nerves every time the boy speaks to him in a soft way opposed to his normal professional way of talking._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mark thinks it resembles irritation. Or maybe nausea._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“We could answer some questions first… like, from fans.” Donghyuck suggests as Mark is forcing the key in the lock and letting them back into their shared house._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Sure. Whatever works.” He waves him off as he hangs his keys and discards his shoes, dropping down onto the couch as Donghyuck busies himself with checking his reflection in the mirror hanging by the door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Glad you liked that idea because I already tweeted out asking for questions.” The boy states from the hall, earning a groan from Mark as he realizes that this is something they’re probably going to do in no more than a few minutes, and he somehow has to curb all negative feelings he has for Donghyuck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Fine. Let’s just get it over with. I have lines to run for tomorrow.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mark watches as Donghyuck laughs to himself before deciding he looks good enough and venturing into the lounge where Mark waits. He sits next to him on the couch, flashing that perfect grin before setting his phone up on the table in front of them. He looks to Mark, silently directing him to compose himself, earning a whine as Mark sits up and straightens his shirt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“How the hell am I supposed to pretend to like you?” He asks, and watches as Donghyuck’s smile turns threatening within a second._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You’re an actor,” He hovers his finger over the record button. “Figure it out.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mark scoffs as the recording starts, and Donghyuck immediately smacks his arm. “Behave.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________With a roll of his eyes, Mark locates the tweet that Donghyuck used to ruin his entire day, scrolling through dozens upon dozens of responses looking for answers. He settles on a safe one, clearing his throat as he reads it aloud._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“What were our first impressions of each other?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Donghyuck giggles happily. “I like that one.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mark rolls his eyes again but has to stifle a smile at the boy’s excitement over something so simple._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“When I met Mark, I was surprised by how nice he is,” Donghyuck explains, drawing a noise of protest from Mark. “Believe it or not, you’re a nice person Mark Lee.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I was mean to you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“As a result of the situation.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Still, I was mean.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Donghyuck shrugs and smiles teasingly. “He’s not intimidating at all. Or scary. Or mean. In case you were curious.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mark groans and drops his head, taking in a breath before falling back on the couch and slumping down just slightly. “You were nice too. Way too nice for the ‘ _situation _’, you know?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Not all of us hate prearranged—and free—living.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“It’s not the prearranged living that triggered my annoyance.” Mark rolls his eyes and receives a scoff and a smack on his stomach._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You’re such a grouch! I promise we like each other.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Mark raises a brow. “Do we?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________It goes silent for a moment before both boys seem to break into laughter, causing the previous tension to dissipate. They fall into a comfortable rhythm after the first question, bouncing banter off of each other as if they had practiced it beforehand. Mark begins to feel as if he’s reading off a script or reciting lines, and it makes everything feel so much easier._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________By the time Donghyuck is stopping the recording, he almost feels disappointed that they’re finished._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Almost _.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Thank you for cooperating,” Donghyuck says, and Mark takes note of the coolness in his tone. “Wasn’t that bad, huh?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“It was… fine.” Mark nods affirmatively, remembering that their relationship is far from what they just displayed for fans._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Go run your lines now, or whatever.” Donghyuck waves him off, standing from the couch before disappearing into the kitchen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Mark almost feels disappointed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He doesn’t let it consume him, figuring that he probably just had more fun than usual with Donghyuck, and was totally bummed that things immediately went back to normal. Normal, being tense and awkward._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Mark thinks he’s beginning to hate their relationship and the way it makes him feel._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Donghyuck doesn’t bring up the vlogs again for quite some time. Mark had assumed that after his enthusiasm the first time that he would be eager to keep doing them, but he very uncharacteristically kept to himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________With an empty schedule for the following week, Mark barely saw Donghyuck apart from when they inevitably ran into each other in the house and sat down together for dinner. Mark finds it odd for the boy to not even be trying to irritate him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________That is, until he asks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Mark,” He speaks in a seemingly absentminded way as Mark is cooking ramen for the pair of them while he sits at the kitchen island._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Hm?” Mark barely glances over his shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Wanna do another one?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Mark momentarily forgets what he’s talking about, his brows furrowing as he fully turns to look at Donghyuck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Another what? You want another ramen?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Donghyuck snorts at that, shaking his head quickly. “No, you idiot. Another video.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Mark rolls his eyes and goes back to the pot. “I’m busy.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I know. I mean while we eat.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Mark sighs, knowing that he can’t really say no, and also secretly wanting to have another moment with Donghyuck where they can at least pretend things are comfortable and nice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Sure.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Donghyuck giggles with glee and gets up, venturing around the kitchen to retrieve bowls and utensils as Mark turns off the stove. Dinner is distributed and Mark finds himself in a similar situation as last time, Donghyuck’s phone propped up in front of them and ready to record._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“What are we talking about this time?” Mark asks around a mouthful of noodles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“The movie. That’s the whole point, isn’t it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I guess.” Mark shrugs, feeling as if Donghyuck isn’t nearly as interested as he was the first time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Still, the button is pressed and he plants a smile on his face before speaking. He goes on to explain some of the things they’ve experienced so far, from Mark’s hair being curled to him having to wear leather—which he explains is tight and makes far too much noise._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Mark is able to contribute easily until he brings up the most recent moment of filming._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“We did a kiss scene last week.” He giggles, and Mark nearly chokes on his dinner. “He’s the hardest person I’ve had to kiss.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Donghyuck!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“What?” The boy asks innocently, and Mark can’t stand the stupid look on his face, all wide-eyed and pouty and fake._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“What’s so bad about me that you can’t kiss me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Donghyuck’s face falters and he swallows hard, seemingly contemplating whether or not he wants to speak. Mark tightens his jaw in a weak attempt at looking angry, setting his chopsticks down in his bowl as he waits._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Kissing scenes are just hard, Mark.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“ _Bullshit _.” He rolls his eyes, making Donghyuck flinch just slightly at his tone. “You kissed Jeno and Yukhei with no problem. Why am I so difficult?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“They’re different—”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“How?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“ _They just are _!” Donghyuck snaps, silencing Mark for a moment. “Okay? It doesn’t mean anything, it was just—it was just for the video. Don’t worry about it.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________It’s Mark’s turn to swallow hard, his eyes dropping to his food as he feels hurt begin to rise up inside him at Donghyuck’s harshness. He knows he shouldn’t be so upset as that’s exactly how he treats the boy, but Donghyuck isn’t like him. Donghyuck is soft and gentle, and he never yells with intent._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Are you jealous?” He asks cooly, and Mark clenches his hands into small fists._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I don’t wanna talk about this.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________That’s all it takes for Donghyuck to stop recording, collect his bowl and his phone, and storm out of the kitchen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Mark is left with more questions than answers, and can’t quite figure out what the strange feeling blooming in his chest is._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He thinks it resembles a fire. Or maybe just heartburn._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He goes to bed that night with the thought of Jeno, and Yukhei, and Donghyuck. How chemistry came so easy when they worked with him. He thinks about the fact that maybe if he weren’t so hostile, that Donghyuck wouldn’t have difficulty making a kiss seem real. That he would be able to do it effortlessly like he has before._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________The scene wasn’t terrible, but even he found it difficult to kiss Donghyuck. He blamed it on nerves—an entire crew watching will do that to you—but as he lays awake and thinks about the boy’s stupid smile and stupid eyes and the softness that he embodies, he begins to wonder if maybe it was something else._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________The thought brings back that odd twisting in his stomach, and though logically he knows it isn’t nausea, he thinks of it as such just to avoid thinking of Donghyuck any longer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Donghyuck, who said Jeno and Yukhei were different than Mark, but won’t tell him how. Mark thinks Donghyuck feels different too, but he isn’t sure if it’s good or bad._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He falls asleep to the thought of honey skin and doe eyes and freckles and wakes up angrier than he’s ever felt before._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Donghyuck doesn’t bother him with the vlogs again for days, and Mark doesn’t speak to him. He doesn’t once stop thinking about the kiss scene, and Donghyuck’s words, and the way he makes him feel. He realizes quickly that he’s beginning to miss their banter over breakfast and their fights on who can use the bathroom to get ready first._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Mark thinks that maybe, the irritation Donghyuck brought was welcomed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________After nearly a week of silence, Mark is the one who asks Donghyuck to film something._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“You _want _to?” The boy marvels, looking up from his magazine as Mark stands in the living room and stares at him hopefully.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Yeah. I picked up some wine on my way home—thought it might be fun to drink and film.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Fun?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Yeah.” Mark licks his lips nervously, holding up the bottle. “I think… we need to do something fun.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Donghyuck just stares back, eyes flickering from the bottle to Mark, before he huffs out a breath and closes his magazine. Mark takes that as compliance and almost lets himself get excited. Donghyuck snatches the bottle from his hand and breezes past him, heading for the stairs and leaving Mark in confusion._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“The bed is comfy,” He explains, and Mark follows without question._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Donghyuck is setting his phone on a pillow when he enters, deciding not to question why Donghyuck chose his room out of the two. He figures that maybe his sheets are nicer, or the room has better light or something stupid like that. He doesn’t need to overthink anything right now, as he’s been doing it all week and his brain could really use a break in the _Confusion About Donghyuck Department _.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“C’mere.” The boy pats the spot next to him, and Mark sheds his coat on the floor before joining him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Admittedly, things start very slow. Mark drinks more than he speaks, too afraid to say the wrong thing or upset Donghyuck again. He thinks about how he usually would have no problem creating tension between them, but lately, the idea seems unwelcomed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Donghyuck speaks energetically, occasionally sipping some wine himself, and Mark manages to follow along even as he finds himself getting tipsier. He even scoots closer at one point, letting his chin rest on Donghyuck’s shoulder when it begins to feel too heavy to hold. It startles the boy just slightly, and Mark catches the colour that’s drawn to his cheek. It just makes him giggle and poke at a freckle on one._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Donghyuck, working past the suspicious stuttering Mark’s actions caused, goes on to explain why his character even notices Mark’s in the first place._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“He was so nice—even though I was terrible to him—and it drew me to him, I guess. Behind that bitterness, there’s something sweet.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Wait,” Mark interrupts as the irritation and fire seem to stir up inside him again. “Isn’t that…isn’t that like me and you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Donghyuck goes silent, and Mark thinks he’s completely fucked up for a brief moment. To his surprise, the boy giggles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Yeah, I guess it is.” He tilts his head, curls tickling Mark’s nose. “Except…reversed. Because I’m nice and you’re mean.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“I’m not mean!” Mark protests with a pout, despite knowing it’s a lie, and Donghyuck starts laughing again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Mark, unable to hold his fake anger when tipsy, breaks into giggles too, and the pair laugh until it hurts, sending an unfamiliar warmth through Mark. He ignores it and tries to enjoy the moment of pure bliss, letting his body fall back on the mattress as Donghyuck continues to stifle giggles above him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________In seconds, he flops down next to him and everything goes quiet. It leaves an emptiness, a need for more moments that feel so happy and close. A need for more Him and Donghyuck, which he never thought would be a possibility._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Mark considers the fact that he might just be drunk and not thinking straight, but such a need, such a _want _being so prominent in his brain after building up for weeks must mean something. Right?___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He rolls over, hazy vision making out Donghyuck and his gentle features. He lets his mind wander to how different they are both inside and out. Mark is sharp, whether it be his features or his tongue, and he knows that. He’s not mean, so to say, he’s just firm and forceful more often than not. He thinks it comes with being such a determined worker. He was always taught that to get far, you have to be tough._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________And his looks match his attitude—at least that’s what Johnny tells him—his face and body full of hard, sharp edges._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________But Donghyuck, Mark thinks, embodies everything soft. From his lips to his nose to his cheeks, each part of him is so gentle and rounded and soft. Mark begins to feel a desire to touch; to reach out and sink his fingers into the boy’s plush skin that looks like it’s made of gold. As Mark thinks of that, he remembers the many times he’s seen Donghyuck’s body exposed, how his stomach looked so cushiony and soft to the touch, much unlike Mark’s thin and toned form._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You’re staring,” Donghyuck mumbles, and his voice is just as soft as the rest of him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Sorry,” Mark whispers back, letting his eyes drift to the ceiling instead, Donghyuck’s eyes so intense and warm. “You’re distracting.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I didn’t do anything.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Donghyuck says nothing more, but Mark feels the mattress shift as he scoots his body a little closer, shoulder brushing Mark’s. The room is quiet aside from the bustling of late-night traffic outside, and Mark is positive that the boy can hear just how loud his heart has begun to beat. Though it might just be his heightened senses from being intoxicated, Mark feels like his heart might just pound out of his chest. He swallows hard and goes to move his hand, but as soon as it brushes Donghyuck’s own, the blood rushes to his cheeks and makes them go hot._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Almost instantly, Donghyuck breaks into drunken giggles. “Oh my god! You’re blushing!” He exclaims, only making Mark turn redder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He goes to protest but can’t as his hand is being grabbed and Donghyuck is intertwining their fingers very gently. He giggles again and shows Mark, before letting them fall between them. It goes quiet again but Mark’s body never relaxes, tension and nerves flooding through him like a tsunami. He wants to let go, break his hand away and roll over and away from the boy, but another part of him has the urge to hold on tighter and never let go._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________His drunken mind goes with the latter, squeezing Donghyuck’s hand and feeling his body flood with the same strange sensation that Donghyuck always brings. Mark doesn’t think it’s nausea, or irritation, or anything negative at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He thinks it might teeter on the edge of love. Pure, unbridled affection that he can’t ignore anymore._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Donghyuck?” He asks in a near whisper, making the boy hum and tilt his head to look at him again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Yes?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I think… I think I like you,” Mark admits aloud, and his stomach immediately tightens with anxiety._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________To his surprise, Donghyuck just blows out a sigh. “Took you long enough to realize.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Huh?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Donghyuck scoffs and rolls his eyes a little, twisting onto his side to look at Mark properly. Mark mimics his position and tries to ignore the pull on his heart that comes with seeing the boy’s cheek squished up against a pillow like a marshmallow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Mark, it is so painfully obvious.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“What is?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“That you don't hate me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Mark bites his lip and averts his eyes from Donghyuck’s teasing gaze, unsure how to tell Donghyuck that he hid his own feelings behind coldness and a feigned bitterness without even realizing. Mark doesn’t know how to tell him that he’s never fallen in love before, so he didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________To get his point across, he shuffles closer just slightly before locking eyes again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“To be fair, I thought I did.” He whispers and feels the way Donghyuck squeezes his hand. “And I was mean because of it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You’re not mean at all, Mark Lee. I don’t understand why you keep being put in those roles.” Donghyuck giggles, separating their hands and leaving a frustrating emptiness in his wake. “You’re adorable when you’re fake angry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Donghyuck stop it!” Mark sputters out but immediately falls silent as the missing warmth from Donghyuck’s hand settles on his cheek._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Donghyuck’s touch is so gentle that Mark physically relaxes, his eyes fluttering closed as a thumb rubs over his cheekbone. The hand slips down to cup his jaw and he dares to look at the boy again, finding a curious smile tugging on his lips. He doesn’t have the courage to say anything at all, every bit of confidence he’s ever had suddenly disappearing when he needs it the most._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Luckily, Donghyuck speaks for him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I like you too, you know?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Of course you do.” Mark manages a laugh, his face heating up once again. “You’re always nice.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I’m nice to everyone.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Yeah but—you—oh shut up.” Mark buries his face away in the pillow and groans, feeling embarrassment creeping through his body as Donghyuck just laughs at him and slips his fingers into his hair, gently carding through it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You don’t have to be so nervous.” He whispers, rubbing his thumb over Mark’s ear. “It’s not like we haven’t kissed before.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Mark thinks he might just die on the spot._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Yeah, but that was fake. We were acting.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You were that good at faking a kiss with someone you supposedly hated?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Oh...you think I’m good?” Mark peeks out from the pillow cautiously to catch Donghyuck rolling his eyes as his hand returns to Mark’s cheek._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Shut up and kiss me for real.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Mark audibly gasps, soft and surprised, and greatly overthinks every movement he makes next; from pushing up on his elbow to shuffling closer so Donghyuck’s curls tickle his skin. He doesn’t want to seem fumbled, or awkward, or inexperienced because Mark has kissed many people and it was never that bad. Granted, most of them were for movies and there were no feelings attached._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Mark?” Donghyuck breathes, and Mark thinks he can feel his lips ghosting over his skin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Hm?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You’re taking too long.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________And Donghyuck kisses him. He tilts his head forward just slightly and connects their lips in a way that’s softer than Mark has ever experienced. Almost as if the boy is just as shy and nervous as he is. He hums happily and lets his hand settle on Donghyuck’s waist—so tiny and delicate—and ever so slowly moves his lips to get a response. Like magic, Donghyuck breathes out a tiny sound and pulls himself closer to Mark, sending a tingling sensation through his entire body that feels like fireworks pumping through his veins._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Mark Lee,” The boy gasps, and Mark thinks he might just melt into the mattress._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Yeah?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Donghyuck’s bottom lip sticks to his just slightly as he breathes out a giggle, cheeks flushed a pretty pink. “Thank you for not hating me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Mark lets out a laugh that’s probably too loud for their proximity, but Donghyuck doesn’t seem to mind as he laughs right back, nose scrunching before he tightens his hand around Mark’s hair and pulls him closer, kissing him again with even more warmth and sparks than before._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You, Lee Donghyuck,” He manages to get out between kisses and giggles, “—are insufferable. In the best possible way.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Mark Lee is 20 years old, and though he’s never killed a person (and no longer really wants to), he thinks that maybe, he’s finally falling in love._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
